bumpie.

mc-bumperson is the name.

growing is the game.

week twenty-something-or-other.

not keeping total track when i take them b.c. i am not banking on getting to week 40 

and  then

boom 

there will be a baby.

patience.

(and trials of mind games??)

"my" kids.

these are "my" kids.

i have referred to them as "my" kids since college 

and well, one of them wasn't even born at that point.

my friends prolly thought i had issues talking about "my" kids, 

but they all knew what kids i was talking about.

i have watched these precious' grow up and it has been quite the joy.

i met anthony when he was idk, 8m or so and instantly fell in love.

i watched him in high school in the summers and on the weekends.

we have some roots.

it is so hard to believe he is 14.

not just double digits, not just a teen, but capital ONE, capital FOUR!

i met nicholas day 2 he was home from the hospital. 

he was such a little peanut, the lil preemie, but you'd never know!

noodle man was the perfect addition.

i adored watching 2 boys and we had oh, so much fun.

i went off to college and along came annie.

we all swore she would be a danny.

met this lil dove about 20 minutes into the world!

who'd a thought a girl... and i remember thinking oh my, 

what will i do when i have a girl in the mix?

HA!

so funny now...

she and her brothers are just meant to be. they are exactly who they are supposed to be.

14, 11 & 9 - not so much babies anymore.

i feel blessed to be a part of their lives and them in mine.

not everyone gets a second family.

all 3 of the kiddos had a job in our wedding, such a special day for me

and now,

i can't wait for these kids to be a part of our little ones life.

quote from annie: "i hope it's a girl. she'd be like a sister to me bc i only have brothers."

priceless.

just thought i'd take a lil trip down the lane of memories...

*sorry for the picture quality. most of these are oldies*

just a peek.

john and i had good intentions of having people over for a lovely house warming party

in spring

and then summer

but uh, a little nugget appeared and things got busy and wallets became tighter

so here is a little peek of our home.

old character.

happy lighting.

my green window.

pot and pan board.

homely touches.

sun rooms.

a favorite lamp.

a long hallway.

baby room gather-age.

sorry some pics are so small, but it's just a peek.

we are enjoying our space.

happy hazel-ing

a niece turns 2!

i can't believe how old she looks with her big girl ponytail.

i almost didn't recognize her.

it was a little rainy at first,

 but the kiddies ate pizza, played in the park and had giggle fests.

although i didn't catch a smile, i think this picture is perfect.

h#2bd to our hazelton!

laundry list.

i have a list of things i want to do pre child.

not sure if i am going to make the deadlines.

perhaps writing this will hold me more accountable-

i'd love to come back and post and say i did them all.

on time.

Register - 8/1/11

Sign up for Birthing Class - 8/5/11

Re-Organize Budget - 8/5/11

Hire Doula - 8/30/11

Finalize Maternity Leave Crap - 9/9/11

Re-organize clothes and closets - 9/10/11

 Build Closet and Baby Room Shelving - 9/15/11

(compliments of Vince)

Order Wedding Photo Prints for Album - 9/17/11

Wedding Prints to Frame - should we wait post baby?

Firm Up Child.care 9/30/11

White Board/Dry Erase/Dinner Board - 10/15/11

Blog Make-Over - 10/20/11

Legally Change Name - 10/23/11

Complete a Birth Binder - 11/1/11

Read Breastfeeding Book(s)- 11/5/11

these are among many other non baby related "to do" list items.
maybe it's unrealistic to have these goals all pre-baby.

but, i know my life, time and priorities will change dramatically

so i am trying to plan ahead.

i'm sure regardless of whether these are done or not won't ruin our baby-moon,

but it'd be nice to have them signed, sealed + delivered by the end of November
or rather by all my above "due dates"

Are these goals unrealistic?

What were your goals?

markets.

better late than never.

just a few shots from some local markets.

ah. so many little gems.

so many creative cats.

good cincinnati energy.

the city flea 

hyde park farmers market

graeter's ice cream $1.41 cent cone day. yum.

nugget notes.

another appointment come and gone.

nothing out of the ordinary, but i love getting you all checked out.

today's bpm is 148.

you must be growing like a weed (er, human) 

since sora could actually hear with the fetoscope. 

last month she still was using the doppler.

my belly is measuring 29 cm, again right on target.

this excerpt is from babycenter which i also receive weekly.

 and i find it interesting:

"if people are telling you that you look smaller or bigger than you should at this point, 

remember that each woman grows — and shows — at her own rate. 

What's important is that you see your practitioner for regular visits 

so she can make sure your baby's growth is on track."

 ain't that the truth. i'm feeling pretty on target with you, 

but i feel as if some people think i should be larger.

well there is a time and place for that and for me i am hoping it to be in month 8 and 9.

that is plenty long to be larger.

you supposedly are about a 1 lb.

sora checked your positioning and you currently are head down. 

(i'd also like to request that you stay that way. or if you really need to turn just make sure you are nice and head down, for 35 weeks - ROA would be ideal. 

much appreciated for the both of us, ok? 

just looking out for everyone involved).

you also were chillin on the right side. 

very not surprising to me as often when i lay down i see my right side is a little larger.

ever so slight.

your movements are not just on the right tho.

way to not discriminate.

i'll keep doing what i'm doing if you keep doing what you are doing.

things i don't like.

not like-able things II

when my thumb forgets to be green.

(i do have a thriving section of jades. perhaps i'll save it for "things i like")

socks with NO matches.

how does this A.L.W.A.Y.S. happen???

cicadas that think you are a friend.

elm tree droppings!

these things ruined my life for a few weeks. 

i kept sweeping the back of the driveway and they just kept falling.

lost. cause.

luckily once they have ALL fallen. 

well, they have all fallen. 

the bar has been raised.

...raised by pockets.

it is my duty as an auntie to be able to brag about pockets.
you don't really attain these duties/privileges for your own children. (at least publicly)

obviously i would swoon over her by merely sharing the same family as she, 

but really, she is a neat kid.

and damn it, she raised the bar. not just a little, but A LOT!

i have joked time and again how screwed we may be.

not only is she adorable with her olive skin, blond little bitty hair 

and piercing dark brown eyes and red lips, 

she also is a little ball of personality, adventure and spice. 

early on she was trying to emulate mouth movements to words and sounds and wanting to imitate everything and move. i mean hell, she rolled over at 3 weeks or something insane!
unstoppable.
 at 15 m.o. her vocabulary consists of just some of the following:

mama, dada, pawpaw, blueberry, strawberry, manana (banana), babah (passy), drink, nurse, hi, bye, dog, moo, shhhhh, meow, more, again, yes, no, cracker, dude (although she says it with no meaning) hot, peepee, poop, eat, mamah, duck (john, who will now go as uncle duck), up, down, ..... and although she can't always pronounce the words to body parts she knows where every major body part is located by name (yes, every major).

ok, you get the idea. but my point is this kid has some social stamina and loves to communicate-

the average range of words for a 1 y.o. is 2-5 words...
pretty sure pockets knows how to use 25+ words and meanings.
so not only is she awesomely amazing

this lil tot likes to talk and i just love it.
it is so fun to have this little communicator + imitator and as tiring as it is that she wants to learn and get into everything i love that she doesn't seem to be timid with boundaries 
although she likes to choose to talk to you rather than you approach her.
this kid makes the rules.


when in san diego we were able to get even more bonding time with her and i can't explain how special that was to have this little munchkin bop around in her cute little diaper and check in on uncle duck and i to see what we were up to. she nestled into my lap if she wants me to read a story to her and wants to know what exactly i am doing when i am on the pot, wants to try on uncle duck's shoes and gets frustrated that they don't fit and would rather eat my cereal in milk than her own dry O's which happen to almost be identical minus the milk. 


this picture below is one of many of her cheesing it up for everyone. she would run in the house where the reception was held, sort of come over and hide in my lap while doing malasana pose, then look over at everyone and give this cheese of a smile with her eyes closed.

the ham. she is encouraged by laughter.

so i adore my little pocket niece.
there is nothing so wrong with that, but after swooning so much over such a neat cat how can any other kid measure up to her ball of personality and vibrance and alertness for life - 
from day 1!?

it may just sound horrible, but sometimes i think our kid will be boring compared to pockets.
i mean, it's not that i lose sleep over it, but we've just been so spoiled for the last 15 months.


the good news is this:  every parent thinks their kid is the shit. so i guess we are in the clear.
i am not much for lying just because it sounds better in public, so there it is honestly.
although i try not to have these thoughts, i do. and i would rather not lie about them.
just like my a lesson in perspective post got my true initial feelings out there i'd like to continue being accountable along the way as it actually eases the guilt of thoughts 
i wish i didn't/don't have.


recently my sister gave me this book of essays on mommy-hood
(which i am sure may lead to more blog entries...)
and there was an essay that struck a chord with these thoughts.
"Our image of ourselves, and our roles as good, caring parents can be deeper
than our image of our children, and perhaps even influence it."
powerful.
So i'd like to let go of these notions of 'I hope our child is cool'
even if i happen to have a really cool niece.
And ultimately our child is going to be the coolest in our eyes and the coolest child for us.
I don't want to be the parent that has to have their child be the "best" at everything
in order to amp up my confidence and esteem as a parent.


I hope we can parent in a way that is cultivating independence and uniqueness 
for that particular child.
My friend Kate wrote to me earlier when i hated that i had a sex preference
 and said it's normal to have all kinds of hopes and expectations for your kids - 
everyone wants a funny/cute/smart/friendly/talented/successful kid.
So that is reassuring, but i'd like to, as this author discusses, not worry so much on the 
"Parent Report Card" - bc there is always some one's child who will be ahead of and behind ours and it's certainly not fair for me to enhance my self image from how our child excels.


before pregnancy i never thought i would actually have these thoughts, 
but i am sure there are plenty of "i told you so" moments waiting for me 
(but please, i'm not asking for them, i can figure them out on my own) 
and i will go back on my "i will never do that" or "my child will never do that."

so there, i feel better already.

unexpected expense

i had a plan.

it was to wear my empire waisted shirts and dresses through pregnancy.

Capital FAIL.

what i didn't realize is that i need to account for more than just a growing tummy.

yesterday i had to try on 3 shirts before i could find a fit for work.

it seems my flat chested shirts are no longer work-able since i have grown a 

couple cup sizes - - (thanks mary for the bras)

i guess i didn't account for a) how small i was and how great that was and 

b) that i would actually not be able to fit into these shirts and dresses. bummer.

so down to basement closet the go. to sit. and wait. 

a few of my fateful shirts that can't be worn.

tear.

i have been pretty blessed in the fact that i have a decent amount of dresses 

that are still working ok

and was able to borrow some clothes from a high school pal and my sister. 

i think i am pretty set for Fall.

thank you Kathy + Lea

working on switching closets... quite a task.

(however if anyone has any maternity tanks or dresses (S) 

that they'd like to lend i wouldn't complain.

and i promise to take lovely care of them while they are in my care).

i surely wasn't prepared for the expense of a changing body, but i am making it work while trying to keep a lil style in my pockets. 

the vertical challenge.

my 6 foot cousin snapped some of these shots from my aunt's wedding.

although they have nothing to do with the wedding, it is absolutely necessary that i share.

these old skool 8 inch heels some how ended up at the reception. 

boom.

i saved the best for last. duh.

for those of you that share in the vertical challenge i can assure you this was so interesting 

to live life for 5 minutes in another person's shoes. 

adding a whole head height and seeing people eye to eye was a world i never knew...

and - sadly 

we joked how we would actually get a better raise or more respect in the work place 

if it weren't for being challenged in the vertical department.

but, that's the life we live.

you're welcome.

side note: not only did lea, my mom and i try these suckers on, 

but aunts, my grama (yes grama) and the bride sported them as well.

OutKast anyone?

perhaps it's not appropriate to correlate this song with my little nugget bar

but

i can't help think of the refrain when you are doing your somersaults and such.

this song normally makes me think of college and night's worth of dancing at Tim's.

and 

really, i don't even like to dance all that much.

but, 

i certainly danced to this number. 

and i certainly like when you dance.

in the words of OutKast:

i like the way you move.

you are so vibrant come 8:30/9 PM until well, i fall asleep.

sometimes i will stay awake with my hands on my bellie b.c. i am addicted to your movement.

i'm not sure if this is your most active time or the time when i am most present

or

both.

occasionally in the afternoon after i eat lunch i feel you jiggle around some, 
but i have a feeling you are a nite owl.

reason number 2 you maybe could be a girl.

(reason #1 is your length)

tonite i couldn't stop laughing at you moving.

i finished dinner and you just were dancing away.

dancing so much i made daddy stop eating his salad and come feel your madd skills.

(i'm not quite sure where you got your rhythm from as daddy and i are not skilled dancers.)

(at all)

your moves are getting stronger and i love it.

it just makes me excited.
it's just so interesting to me that you have found yourself a little place to live in my bellie
and you are all cozied up and do your lil moves when you please.
chalk up another one of life's crazy ways.