what i have learned my baby's first month

i have a guest post coming about lessons learned in a baby's first year and i started tracking what i was learning because every day seemed like a new lesson.

i'm certain this will grow.

i have learned:

1. how much more laundry a little makes (not including cloth diapers). 

our water bill coming must be astronomical.

2. it's not easy to be the same wife you once were while tending to a little. 

our love may be stronger, but it takes more effort.

3. projectile vomiting is common among ferocious eating newborns.

4. large breasts are completely overrated.

5. how much you will melt looking at your husband with his daughter.

6. i'm not sure i can fathom someone else taking care of my child even if it's family.

7. that cheering over and congratulating large burps is a common occurrence.

8. that my driving has tremendously improved (and everyone else has become worse).

9. how fast the days go by because 

a) we nap b) there is always something (everything) that needs to be done and c) because it seems like the everything that needs to be done never gets completed because we have to nap to survive the days.

10. to celebrate the small successes (getting to blow dry my hair, no milk splashes.)

11. how good it feels to walk in the cold alone for 20 minutes, 
even though i think about my kid the whole time i am gone.

12. kisses don't always make it better.

13. there isn't just projectile vomiting- add projectile pooping to the list - for more info on dirty diaper levels check here.

14. if i didn't text myself reminders i wouldn't remember anything. 

i'm sure there is a "to do" list ap, but clearly you can see i haven't had time to look into that.

15. it's easier to keep my child fed and watered than it is myself.

16. no matter how drained or frustrated i become and how much she cries, screams or fusses
 i still have an unexplainable amount of love and adoration for my child.

...

what would you add?

FOUR CHRISTMASES?

try FIVE.

from December 23rd-27th

our little family will be celebrating Christmas

five times over.

and Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn thought they had a lot going on...

i won't complain though as i am putting the energy into being grateful 

we have so many family members going strong

and family wanting to be together around the holidays.

BUT

don't judge me when i nap at relatives houses though.

and don't worry, when you have a baby around the holidays

they won't have any problem finding the right outfit for the season :)

i have stella's all set out

(in no particular order)

happy crazy amounts of holiday madness to you!

Coping with a Preemie [guest post]

When I sought out guest posters for my "maternity" leave from blogging 

I wanted to make sure I got a range of stories.  

I want to send Beth from It's A Wonderful Life a huge thank you for sharing her story with us. 

I know there are people out there that can relate.

I thought it'd be appropriate to post on Abigail's birthday! 

Happy Birthday Abigail!!

There are so many things I was oblivious to....innocence really was bliss.

We struggled to get pregnant, but through IVF, we got pregnant with our first child.  And we were happy!  Elated!  All the shots.  Meds.  Blood draws.  Doctor appointments.  And now...we had a heartbeat, then a baby!

So the hard part was over (infertility was so difficult and deserves a post all it's own)...or so we thought.  We had a normal, boring pregnancy.  Because that's how all pregnancies are, right?  You get pregnant..and then 40 weeks later, you have a baby.  That's how all our friends did it.  Smooth sailing. 

Fast forward to my 30 week checkup.  A normal checkup.  A normal pregnancy. We did EVERYTHING right!  I stayed active, but not too active.  I ate healthy.  I took my prenatal vitamins.  I took prenatal yoga.  I rested.  I ate more.  I went to my checkups.  I did everything I was supposed to.  But at that 30 week checkup, I mentioned my back was hurting. I believe the doctor's words were, "That's normal.  Nothing to worry about.  But we'll check it out."  About 5 minutes later, I'm in the car, driving to the hospital because I'm in labor.  I'm on the phone with the hubby, who can't keep it together.  We are both crying.  What is going on?????  This isn' t right.  Never mind we have NOTHING (my shower was still a month away and our house wasn't even finished being built yet) how can this baby survive?????

They stop the labor after 3 days.  The ironic part was on the second day, we had our "What to Expect" class at the hospital.  My hubby went to the class, while his wife laid in L & D.  The irony.

We head home after 3 days on strict bed rest, but that only lasted 3 more days. Then, back to the hospital....After 24 hours my water broke, so it was Baby Time.  Throughout this whole time we had been "groomed" on what to expect when our baby came out.  We met NICU doctors.  And nurses.  The baby wouldn't cry and would be rushed to the NICU.  But what to expect after that was unknown. Oh Crap...we need a name!!!!!

At 31 weeks, on December 22nd, our daughter Abigail Grace was born at 3lbs.  And she came out SCREAMING!!!! 

But that stopped quickly.  There were 20 people working on her.  And nothing we could do.  They put her in an incubator and off she went to the NICU.  My husband was able to tell our family it was a girl and then he went to be with her in the NICU. I watched her be taken away and was the most scared, and in love, I have ever been in my life.

I was able to join her a few hours later.  She was so small...and beautiful...and perfect...and small! 

Since she was 9 weeks early, they told us to expect her to be in the NICU for 9 weeks.  But no one knew what the future held.  The first thing was to keep her breathing and keep her temperature warm.  She was too small to do these things alone.  So she lived in her incubator.  We were able to hold her hand through the incubator every couple of hours.  I wanted to hold her, to meet her face to face, to talk to her.  But I would take what I could get. 

She had tubes and wires everywhere.  Helping her breath.  Feeding her through a tube.  Monitoring her heart beat, oxygen levels, etc.  It was scary to see.  She was so small they had to put her IV into her head because her hands and feet were too small for an IV needle.   Any parent of a child in the NICU will tell you the sounds are the scariest.  Things are constantly beeping...and people are constantly running into your room...and you are constantly asking "What's going on?"  Micro-preemies (born before 32 weeks) forget to breath. They just stop breathing.  It's scary!  They just need someone to shake them a little and remind them....but it's constant.  For Abigail's first week, she had a nurse with her 24-7. 

The next few days were rough.  And it didn't help that it was Christmas time.  I was released for the hospital on Christmas Eve.  That was the hardest day of my life.  I couldn't leave my baby in the hospital on Christmas Eve and go home.  Luckily, we were at an amazing hospital that knew that I needed to be with my baby, so they let us sleep in an empty room so we could be with her Christmas morning. 

I will never forget our first Christmas together.  We went down to the NICU around 5am in our pajamas.  We walked into her room..and it was full of decorations and presents.  I LOST it.  She was so loved....and we were a family on Christmas.  They even had a Santa hat on her that morning...I will never forget that moment.  Then, this mama got the best Christmas gift I ever received...they said I could hold my daughter for the first time.  I tear up even now thinking of that moment of meeting my daughter.

internet access, an i pad.  I just sat there and read her stories and sang her songs and told her about her family.  We had her incubator full of family who loved her.  We had visitors.  And we waited for the hubby to get off work so we could spend our evenings as a family.

What made it even harder was what was happening all around us.  Babies born 1 lb, having a surgery in the room next to us because the baby is too small to even leave the NICU for the surgery.  Chaplains coming in to pray for the babies.  Parents getting bad news.  And parents getting good news.  And babies getting released after a few days...and you are so happy for that family but wish it was you!!!!!

I ate every meal in that cafeteria. We spent Xmas there.  We were with her at midnight on New Years Eve.  We were there for her first bath, the first day we could put her in clothes, the first day she could regulate her own temperature, the first day she didn't have a feeding tube down her throat, her first bottle.  Things that most people take for granted were little milestones that were all had to hold onto.  Our future was still so unknown.  Did she have bleeding in the brain?  Would she have lung issues from her small preemie lungs?  Would she have eye issues (a lot of preemies have problems with their eyes)? Would she need heart surgery?  Would she walk?  Talk?  Laugh?   Remember this time of her life????  We were told a lot of preemies have issues with things in their mouth (bottles, pacifies, etc) because they are traumatized from having the feeding tubes constantly shoved down their throats. 

We knew she had to eat on her own.  Keep her temperature regulated without help.  Be 4 lbs.  Be able to stay in a car seat without stopping breathing.  And not have a "stopping breathing" issue for 24 hours.  So we waited.  And prayed. And did therapy. And prayed.  And talked to doctors.  And prayed.

After 4 weeks, the day Abigail hit 4 lbs, we were able to take her home.  This was the second time we were told we could take her home..the first time she failed the car seat test.  She was only 35 weeks, still 5 away from her due date.  They said this was the earliest they spent a baby home...and we just laughed because we had definitely already showed us her personality...she was going to do things on her time and her own way!!!!

The next few months continued to be hard.  No visitors because she was so fragile.  No sleeping because I was terrified she'd stop breathing.  And lots of doctors appointments. 

I have to say, this was the hardest time of our lives, but we met more angels in our weeks in the NICU that I could ever imagine.  We met other families with other preemies, 2 of the families who we have become extremely close to and see each other regularly.  We have celebrated 3 more birthdays together since.  And we met the nurses...they are amazing. They were our angels...and I told them that...and continue to tell them that because they are still part of our lives...and will tell them that every time I see them.  We got through this because of the nurses who watched over our daughter, especially the hours when we couldn't be there!

And here we are today...only weeks away from celebrating my littlest angel's 4th birthday!  I am blessed!  And as we have done every year on her birthday, on December 22nd we will go back to the NICU to thank the nurses and doctors.  To drop off Christmas presents to all the babies in the NICU.  And to remind us where we have come from and how much we have to be grateful for. 

santa's list.

are you on the 

naughty list?

or nice list?

well, i hope it's the nice list, but if you've been naughty

i hope you get a good laugh out of these.

kisses dont always make it better.

i remember hearing that kisses will make it better.

but it's not always true.

when my daughter is screaming the screams that dig under your skin

and her face is beet red

her brow is dented with a scowl

and i have to remind her to breathe from the angry cries she is displaying

i will say that kisses don't always make it better.

there isn't a number of kisses i could shower her with that do the trick. 

i wish i could say it worked.

it's those screams that used to be piercing

but now, when it's my kid

they still are piercing, but they pierce straight to my heart.

not knowing exactly what is wrong with her

or how exactly she wants to be soothed

and what set her off in the first place

make this roller coaster of parenthood ring true.

i have to say she is a good baby.

i mean, she isn't colicky and cries typically when babies cry

hunger. diaper. held. ouch.

but she tried my patience (ok, i know unintentionally) over the weekend.

out of no where she had a conniption fit.

my kisses didn't make it better. 

i was getting tired and i had hopes of getting a lot done.

i didn't bother getting her dressed at that point

because it surely didn't seem it would help her conniption-ing.

i wrapped her in a blanket and brought her to bed to cuddle.

it just seemed like nothing was working

and it made me cry.

i cried because i couldn't soothe my child

and was getting to the point where my eyelids were heavy

and my damn kisses didn't make it better.

and at the same time realize that i can't "do it all"

---

i had big plans to get a lot done that day-

re-organize the maternity clothes

bathe, feed and dress the both of us

write a blog (or two)

bake some cranberry breads

a load of laundry?

and if i didn't get to any of those i thought it would be nice to do something

"christmasy" like watch a movie with hot chocolate

as a family of three.

but there i was, 2 PM, crying in bed with my now, calm child

attempting a nap

with only accomplishing both of us bathed, one dressed (me) and one fed (her).

amid two piles of maternity clothes to put away.

how in the world do people have another child with a baby?

[stay tuned for some guest posters to come]

the day actually didn't turn out so bad.

i did the dishes, fed myself lunch, drafted a blog, responded to some emails

she napped in her crib :)

mister john made dinner and put in a christmas movie for the evening.

another reminder to celebrate the small successes

and shower my child with kisses even if they don't always make it better...

...right away.

it's a good thing i carried you for 9 months

because if i didn't i'd question whether you were mine.

i've actually said this to quite a few people lately, 

but it is true...

you are all your father's.

you have inherited daddy's:

hair

hairline

eyes

mouth

ears

fingers/hands

feet/toes

daddy's bow legs

butt

(you have a long torso, we aren't sure who that is from, but it's not me...)

the harrison cheeks

(more than likely i am forgetting something)

you *might* have the minniti nose.

i have my mom's nose, so even that isn't mine.

i think you have daddy's congestion though.

i surely don't need a little clone of myself,

but i do find it funny - 

aren't the chromosomes supposed to mix a little more equally?

apparently my traits aren't very dominant.

you even have your dad's sleeping habits.

your second wind at around 10pm and what seems to be fighting sleep

(although it's a little too early to tell, it sure seems like you do)

we don't know about your personality quite yet, 

so maybe you got some of that from me.

you are impatient, love your food, and don't do so hot if you don't get it right away

(these all could be moma or daddy though).

you are going to be a talker (we think) as you like to hear yourself make noises.

(i'd like to claim this one if you don't mind).

i think you will be active since your legs and arms go nonstop.

(i'd also like to claim this one).

even though you are a clone of your father,

"john, with a bow" as i referenced you the other day...

i know you'll grow up and be your own unique self all around.

none of this you look and act like so and so matters,

but it's fun for now to try to see what traits we passed on to you.

i love you, my little mister john clone.

guessing game [answers]

i thought i'd have all the time in the world to post these answers before her birth.

nope.

below are the fun facts about john and i when younger.

(in no particular order)

i posted these a while ago and here, FINALLY, are the answers.

hope you did well.

smile.

1. After a fight with my sister I decided it would be nice to rip off the head of her favorite barbie doll.

caren

2. Empty yogurt cups (cleaned out of course) were my favorite blocks.

caren

3. Growing up our "night games" were kick the can and cops and robbers.

caren

4. As a baby loved to play with all the pots and pans in the kitchen.

john

5. A favorite saying around age 7: "I am going to try not to get married."

caren

6. Voted best smile as my superlative in high school.

john

7. In middle school my morning routine before school involved my dad pretending it was cafeteria style for my sister and me.

john

8. One of my many jobs: delivery of the weekly press.

caren

9. Before I had teeth, my dad gave me a whole apple to eat in my high chair.

caren

10. My sister was the first to make me laugh.

caren

11. When I first learned to ride my bike, I rode down the hill in front of the house without using brakes into a tree.

john

12. During a 5th grade basketball game, I was fouled out and stormed off the court, slammed my hand against the wall and left the gym.

caren

13. I tried to steer clear of my dad's "claw" that tickled me.

john

14. Cops were called b.c I went "missing" - I was at the neighbors the whole time and TOLD my parents.

caren

15. Slept in the hallway outside my bedroom at our new house to avoid the ghosts that were in the cracks in the ceiling.

john

16. I spray painted the school sign and chased by the cops with my best friend.

john

nursing with style [guest post]

 I'm so happy friend & stylist Meaghan from Little Lime Dress agreed to do this post. I am currently on the prowl for nursing gear and also for items upon return to work. One thing I know about Meaghan is she always delivers, and this is nothing short. I can surely benefit from this post - thank you Meaghan for working your magic!

Keeping up with friends is hard enough, but when you add distance into the mix, it is all too easy for our
hectic lives to get in the way. Which is why when Caren created this blog, I knew I was going to enjoy it. Not only is it so trendy and of-the-moment, but how cool to be able to keep up with the musings of a friend than through her personal blog which, at the same time, is a super cool archive for her child to one day look back on and enjoy. Anyway, when my dear friend Caren contacted me to do a guest post on her blog, See You In November I was flattered. For those of you who don't know, in the blogging world being asked to post on someone else's blog is a true honor. Our blogs are, in a way, our babies and a guest post is like having the chance to babysit. So thank you Caren, for letting me babysit, I only hope I can have the honor of doing the same with Stella someday soon.
Lots of Love & Lime from NYC,
Meaghan


Over the past few years I have dedicated my life to fashion & style, and I take pride in knowing that regardless of where my clients are in their lives, they come to me for fashion help. Recently, I have had the privilege of helping some expectant mothers out in the maternity and nursing departments which brings me to this post on my top ten picks for nursing mothers. Enjoy..

1. Comfort, style & with a price tag that doesn't make you cringe! This maternity tie-front blouse from Old Navy comes in two colors and is available now, on sale! Rock this nursing-friendly top with everything from your maternity yoga pants & sneakers to leggings and boots.

2. Designed to wear during pregnancy and perfect for nursing thanks to its concealed clips for easy access, this double layer top ($75) was spotted on super celeb mommy Jennifer Garner. Wear it with your favorite pair of jeans and flats for a comfortable & stylish look that will take you to your next play date or doctor's appointment!

3. This 3/4 sleeve pullover nursing tee is the perfect mix of style & functionality. Made of modal jersey and with a flattering deep v neckline and ruching, this blouse is stylish and comfortable, & rings in at just $55. Dress it up with dress pants or trousers for work or go casual w/ a pair of jeans and riding boots.

4. Length, comfort, style & functionality for nursing all in one sweater! This Knitted nursing sweater
(available in purple, grey & brown) for $108 from Seraphine transitions perfectly to a nursing blouse with the front buttons opening for nursing ease.

5. Who says you can't be fashionable during and after pregnancy? A LBD is the perfect go-to for every woman, regardless of which life stage she is in at the current moment! 
This MILKSTARS short sleeve mock layer double opening nursing dress can be worn through your pregnancy and transition right into your nursing months. A classic style in a jersey knit that offers a mock layer double opening for nursing ease makes this dress a must have. Available at Destination Maternity for $85.

6. With a print like this, no one will even know that lifting the surplice V reveals a nursing layer! This top comes in both tie-dye and a sexy animal print. This is perfect for when you have time to get together with your gal pals! Even if it's for a cup of coffee, this will make you feel fabulous! Sure this would look great with those "go-to" yoga pants or leggings, but I would pair it with jeans & flats, or even a maxi skirt & some boots. Make it your own, but make it work! Available at Expressiva for $30

7. Swedish design house, Boob Design, has an innovative patented design to their pieces that allow nursing ease with one simple step. This fleece, perfect for the cold days of winter, features an overlap on the empire waistline, allowing for discreet and comfortable nursing. While this is a high price ticket item, the functionality and practicality make it worth the cost. Wearable for during and after pregnancy, this fleece will keep you warm, comfortable & allows nursing convenience. Available at Boob Design for $145.

8. Sleep in style & comfort with this long sleeve scoop neck empire waist nursing nightgown & robe (this is especially comfortable for those mothers recovering from C-sections). Available in grey & pink stripe for $40 at Motherhood Maternity.

9. As seen in In Style's June issue, this Le Mystere bra allows you to cater to your sexy side while nursing. With a marriage of superior fit & design, this bra will make you feel sexy even when your sleepless nights and hectic schedule has caught up with you. Treat yourself to something nice, and a bit naught, available at Bare Necessities for $66. Note: Le Mystere also caters to plus size women.

10. A plus size friendly pic, this Bravado Nursing Bra offers light to moderate support with a sports bra styled back to hold straps in place. This is perfect for the plus size woman who doesn't want to always wear under wire nursing bras while doing things around the house. Comfort is key with this shaped, unlined molded cups in stretch cotton. Available at Bare Necessities for $35

I hope you all enjoyed my picks & for more fashion & style advice please make your way to 
Little Lime Dress for all your fashion & style needs. To show my gratitude for having me as a guest blogger, I will be offering 20% off any styling service for all See You In November readers. Please email meaghan@littlelimedress.com to sign up.

happy 3 weeks my little pickle.

as much as i love the weeks going by and you growing 

more and more alert- 

i also hate it.

it means less time with you will be approaching soon.

i can't say you are so very much changed since 3 weeks ago,

but a person of your stature changes more rapidly than regular sized folks.

you still are sleeping what feels like, more in the day than at night,

but that might be because we are more tired at night.

you did do a 4 hour stint last night. thank you.

my boob did not thank you though.

you are a little ornery and you come by that honestly from yours truly.

you eat quickly, which i am very much thankful for, 

but sometimes you get so hungry and anxious about your food 

(thank dad for that one) that you head butt my boobs and like to bitch a little

when you can't latch right away (the bitching is from me, not dad though).

it seems like you have a lot of clothes, but you still don't fit into much.

i know you are gaining weight though. daddy and i feel you are heavier

and you are growing another chin, you b.feed, baby you.

we are so excited for you to respond to us more than reflexes.

your smile is certainly adorable and i pretend you mean to do it. 

you make lots of special noises, some sounding like a grandpa clearing his throat.

or you also do a random bird like cry out of the blue then go back to sleep.

dear lord, what are you "dreaming" about?!

i'm getting used to all your sounds, but still can't sleep unless 

i know you are sleeping comfortably. 

it is certainly true that the smallest peep wakes up a moma. 

i need to do better with the camera.

i was johnny on the spot with your cousins, taking pictures with

each and every relative, but with you i've slacked.

i'm sorry, but it must be something to do with the fact that i am 

a wee bit more tired than i was with your cousins.

someday i'll get your "newborn" pics... 

aka more like your 2-3 month shots at this rate.

fail.

the holidays aren't helping me get my act together though.

i promise i'll get better though and you will have cute pictures

and you will be able to look back and see that friends and family did hold you.

we had our first couple of outings together this week, just the 2 of us.

we went to the store and you cooperated in the mya wrap.

you slept through the city flea's holiday market too.

you certainly haven't made traveling too difficult.

i'm more the lame one that gets beat rather easily.

looking forward to more of getting to know you, miss stella. 

i promise i won't write to you every 2 weeks, just wanted to pop in and say hello.

love,

moma llama

Things No One tells You as a Mama [guest post]

so happy to have kate from Dave + Kate plus... share some of her tales of momma-hood. 

kate and i have known each other for quite some time, 

but actually reconnected over ... wait for it:  pregnancy & birth 

when she was pregnant with her little monster :)

it's been awesome to hear her mommie stories and 

seek out advice from someone who shares similar ideals.

thank you kate for your honesty and humor!

As Brenda (or Caren, or Netti, or whatever you call her) is embarking on her first few 
moments of mommyhood, I can’t help but think of my own dive, face-first, into what is

the most wonderful, exhausting, trying and beautiful time of my life.

When my little Monster was just a few days old, my sister and sister-in-law came to visit,

themselves each toting their new babies (3 months and 9 months old). I snuggled on the

couch with Vinny while they cooked, played with the babies and poured me a much-

needed glass of wine.

We talked about what it’s like to be a mom; what it’s like to love something so much;

what it’s like to feel like you simply *can’t* breastfeed anymore because your nipples are

sure to fall off, they are in so much pain.

I think that pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood are areas that still aren’t talked about

in enough detail to fully prepare you for what you’re going to experience.

My mother very directly said to me once in my pre-Mommy days, “I don’t want to tell

you what being pregnant is like because you won’t want to ever get pregnant.”

Truer words were never spoken. And pregnancy is the easy part! Then you physically

have the baby, and the entire labor, you’re thinking, “This is the hardest thing I have ever

done. Someone shoot me now to put me out of my misery.”

But even those 27 hours of hard labor aren’t anywhere near as challenging as being a

mother.

No one tells you exactly how sleep deprivation will affect you – never mind that you are

caring for another life while trying desperately to remember which is the gas pedal and

which is the brake.

No one tells you how you will have trouble falling asleep at night – tired as you are –

because you were foolish enough to watch the news and now you’re terrified at ever

letting your child get old enough to leave your arms, your house, your rule.

No one tells you that there will be times that you worry that maybe you rushed into this

parenting thing, maybe you should have waited longer to be a parent.

No one tells you that there will be times when you practically throw the baby at your

husband in tears, saying, “Just take him. I can’t be around him right now.”

No one tells you that it’s possible your body will hurt for days – even weeks – after

having the baby. And once the pain subsides and your midwife clears you to run again,

no one tells you that if you push yourself too hard you’ll get wicked hemorrhoids and cry

every time you have to go to the bathroom.

Something my mom did tell me, however, is that God makes babies cute to make up for

all that stuff.

And it’s true.

No one can really tell you what it’s like to look down at that little angel while you’re

feeding him and feel so much love you think your body will burst.

No one can really tell you how it feels to watch your baby cry and you wish and pray and

hope for anything to stop it because you feel their pain a million times more than they do.

No one can really tell you how it feels to watch your kid hit milestones – even the teeny

ones – and feel the pride that only a parent can feel.

No one can really tell you how it’s possible to look through pictures of your kids over

and over again and never get sick of it and insist other people look at them and not realize

that you’ve become that annoying parent who is always showing off pictures of you kid.

Before we become parents, all we get are little glimpses of what it’s like to be a parent.

We know it will be hard, we know it will be worth it. We just don’t know the details.

… And then, by the time your baby becomes a toddler, you’ll have forgotten all those

little details and you’re ready for Baby Number Two …